Halloween Wisdom From a Nursing Home

On Halloween afternoon a few years ago I went to the nursing home where my friend’s Mom is a resident.  We walked into the front foyer, and there they all had gathered.  They were sitting in their wheelchairs…all dressed in some sort of Halloween costume.  Some had a look on their faces that said they did not have a clue.  Some looked hopeful that something would happen soon.  One lady sat there with her mouth open wide and her eyes closed in her green wig and witch’s hat.

My friend’s mom is young, but she is suffering from the results of a stroke.  Jo’s mind is fine.  It must be hard for her to be there trapped in a body that only has one side working. Still, our little Jo Bumble Bee looked happy to be a part of this Halloween. Her friend, Virginia, was there as well.  Her challenges are not so obvious. She was able to walk during the Halloween parade around the corridors of the home and into the day room where activities were held.  Virginia was a butterfly…or so she said.  She had on a lavender robe with matching wings, a crown, and a wand. I believed her to be a princess, but what I believed did not count.  She WAS a butterfly. She was as hopeful in her behavior as a young girl waiting for darkness to come so that she could go out to Trick or Treat.

I looked around, and I learned something from that Halloween Celebration in the nursing home.  These people were living their lives with as much dignity as their circumstances would allow them.  There was beauty and sweetness all around.  The costume march was something to look forward to and enjoy.  It was not the Halloween they had when they were young, but it was what they had now, and they were happy to have it.  This is what life is all about.  Taking joy in the things that you can have, not worrying whether it is shadow of what you had been in the past.  Imminent to all who grow old is the promise of glory to come.  There we will be blessed with a life to which this present life does not hold a candle.

In Jeremiah 29:10-12 we find the words…“This is what the LORD says: ‘When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, 

and I will listen to you.’ ”

This is the final plan God has for us.  We will not have to look back.

HALLOWEEN AT THE HOME

“Kids” all excited

Wait for the moment come

When costumes are donned.

Beautiful “children”

On the other side of life

Grabbing for some fun.

A red haired witch,

A green haired one who snoozes,

And a bumble bee.

A geisha girl so fine

A hippie with curly hair

Wearing a peace sign.

Wheelchairs lining up
Pretending they’re what they were
Before the years flew.

One who walks in step

Sweet innocent butterfly

Simple as a child.

So off we all roll

Halloween march through the home

Who will win a prize?

Nurses clapping

Others in beds sleeping sound

Merrily we move.

Party is ready

Everyone smiling of mem’ries

Of days long ago.

At the nursing home

The children are bigger here

Taken care of now.

Looking over each

One wonders what they’re thinking

What they understand.

Why do they have to

Be here where they seem adrift

No wills of their own.

Sad comic relief
In their costumes as if young

Smile in confusion.

Why does God allow

Sad end for the elderly

Are they in His plan?

Before time began

He knew what their lives would be

How they would end up.

End up – a sad word

Too tragic for what is real

The glory that will come.

They’re waiting for Him

Hope they know He’ll come for them
When His time is right.

Corinne Mustafa

11/1/07

I Am Especially Fond of That One

I Am Especially Fond of That One

We all, to one degree or another, know who God is.  After all, who among us has not met Him in our quiet times spent in His Word? Many have witnessed His glorious painting in the myriad colors of fall foliage a summer sunset. We hear His music when waves crash on rocks or in the lilting song of a bird greeting the arrival of a brand new day.  We observe love that reflects His love as we watch a mother caring for her child or when we hear about a person who has risked his life pulling someone to safety who has fallen down onto the subway tracks. We get His guidance from the lyrics of songs and His counsel from conversations we have with others.  He is always present with us, and if we open our hearts to Him we will learn much.

I know all this to be true, but there are still the dry times when I find myself wondering who He really is and what He is really about. Like Paul I don’t always do the things I want to or should do…and sometimes, if you can believe it, I do things that not only I don’t want to do but that He does not want me to do either.  I am not talking major bad behavior here, although sin is sin regardless of my ranking it as  or small. Still, I want you to know that what I am meaning here is behavior…sometimes open and sometimes not visible…that leaves me falling short of who I should be in spite my position of royalty as a child of the King.

You know, I am thinking that if we actually knew who our heavenly Father really is, it might be easier for us to follow the path He has set out for us without detours. But then again, maybe not.  I do know who He is, but this knowledge becomes clouded by how complicated I always make Him.  This is understandable considering the fact that He always was; He is, and He always will be. How do I wrap my mind around this Creator God who does not owe His existence to any other person or happening. How do I even begin to understand God, when the Bible and my learning about God, tells me that He is three persons in one God?  Huh? Now that is complicated, don’t you think?  So, I proceed on faith that these and many other things are true, even though I am always looking at them through a glass darkly.

Still, I think that the clue to understanding it all is to be aware of the fact that I should not make it so complicated.  This is a good plan, but we even do that with the people that we look up to in life.  We put someone on a pedestal and then spin a web around that person.  Our web holds our admiration for who we think that person to be, and, because we revere this individual, we add attributes and feelings that may or may not be easy to understand or substantiate. Our web eventually becomes so thick that we cannot see who our “idol” truly is. While it is true that God is our Idol and Ideal, one who is in fact worthy of all our admiration, the reality is that we create a bona fide situation where we “cannot see the forest for the trees.” We make Him so complicated that much of what we can know and learn is hidden by the lush leaves of our imagining.

I have been reading THE SHACK by Wm. Paul Young. In the book God is called Papa, which in itself simplifies our vision of who He is. A Papa is a gentle kind of father…one who will love his child, one who will cherish his child, and one who, when discipline is required, corrects in a way that does not destroy a piece of the child’s vision of himself or herself.  Several times in the book, as God is thinking or talking about someone, He says, “I am especially fond of that one.”  A very beautiful part of that statement is that God’s professed fondness is not based on the constant rightness or compliancy of the individual.

Are you wondering where I am going with this?  I do have a point to make. This book has really impacted my life.  Oh I know, it is just a story and at times a preposterous one, but, in the end, it brings God to life in His beauty and simplicity.  I have had many “aha moments” while reading this story.  These moments have stuck with me in my day to day life popping into my mind when least expected and most needed….times when I am about to be like the disciple Paul choosing the low road instead of the scenic route of right behavior.

I will give you an example.  I was driving the other day downtown not far from the high school.  A young teenager was at the corner crossing and proceeded to start across the street. He had nice clothes on, but they must have belonged to a sumo wrestler.  They certainly did not fit his skinny body.  He had to walk with his legs spread out to keep his shorts, which were so long they came to mid calf, from falling down to his ankles.  His sweatshirt stood out at least five inches from his hips.  I started in on my self talk. “Oh, my gosh, would you look at him!” “Wonder if I will end up seeing his jockey shorts before he makes it across the street.” 

 “Doesn't he know how stupid he looks? Well there you have it.  He probably is dumb as a box of rocks.”  “Where the heck was his mother when came down to leave for school.”  These are just a few of the thoughts that went through my mind as I watched him proceeding to the opposite corner.  However, before he even made it to the curb, my own convictions kicked me figuratively to the curb myself.  What do you think popped into my head?  You got it.  “I am especially fond of that one.”

Isn’t it a beautiful thing that God loves His children in this way?  No matter how stupid I look or act, no matter how dense my thinking is, no matter how brainless, how dimwitted, or how obtuse I am, God still loves me.  This includes loving me when I am not actual pleasing to him.  I want to quote a couple of lines from the book.  The main character is asking why God would love him.  He says…

“But why me?  I mean, why Mackenzie Allen Phillips? Why do you love someone who is such a screw-up? …... why would you even bother to keep trying to get through to me?” “Because that is what love does,” answered Papa. Remember, Mackenzie, I don’t wonder what you will do or what choices you will make. I already know.” (He goes on to say that, for instance, He might know that Mack will get something on the forty seventh time.) “So when you don’t hear me the first time, I’m not frustrated or disappointed.  I’m thrilled. Only forty-six more times to go.”

That whole idea thrilled me.  He is the one that I have to answer to, the most important one.  He is patient and willing to wait for me to get it.  He welcomes the idea that learning and understanding comes in layers. He is ready to provide the necessary layers that I need to get something.  It is amazing.

There have been many times when I am starting to be judgmental about someone. It can happen when the individual is someone I don’t know or even someone I do know. Suddenly it will pop into my mind that God is “especially fond of that one.” It is very good to remember, and it results in a paradigm shift in my negative thinking. But more exciting to me is the awareness that, when I have messed up in grand style, that God is not far away from me.  This is a simple and beautiful part of who He is and who I know Him to be.  And, in the midst of my feelings of threatening guilt for a bad choice, I remind myself that in my case as well God is saying…

I AM ESPECIALLY FOND OFF THAT ONE!

Written by

Corinne H. Mustafa

Cream Cheese

No this is not an advertisement for Philadelphia Cream Cheese in spite of the wonder food that it is. It is good on bagels. It is good in a salsa dip. It is good as a dollop in soup. Let us not forget the wonder of cheesecake be it plain, topped with strawberries or another fruit, chocolate or marble…it is the ultimate elegant dessert. It is cool and smooth and slides down easily with a sure sense of gourmet enjoyment.

What I am talking about here is the word Philadelphia. You know, the same as the famous Pennsylvania city…also known as the “City of Brotherly Love.” However, because this is a website for women perhaps we should discuss “Sisterly Love” instead.

What would cream cheese and sisterly love have in common? Well that is a stretch at best. It only came to my mind because of the name of the Philadelphia brand and the meaning of the word. And since we are women at the least we could call it “siblingly” love…to love as a sibling would whether that sibling be a male or a female. So let’s follow the idea of the blessings of cream cheese.

It is a smooth ingredient that enhances enjoyment of so many different foods. Just as love in our interactions helps the medicine go down so to speak. When we love we act differently and medicine is more palatable. Though it may be necessary the brunt of it is dulled by the creamy ingredient of love. 

The Bible gives a lovely description of love and what it could be in 1Corinthians 13…the love chapter.

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. 

Love never gives up. 
Love cares more for others than for self. 
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 
Love doesn't strut, 
Doesn't have a swelled head, 
Doesn't force itself on others, 
Isn't always "me first," 
Doesn't fly off the handle, 
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 
Doesn't revel when others grovel, 
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
Puts up with anything, 
Trusts God always, 
Always looks for the best, 
Never looks back, 
But keeps going to the end. 

8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. 
11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. 
12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (The Message)

So here we have it on sisterly love…Philadelphia… 

Love cares more for others than for self.
When a sister is in need share some cream cheese and jelly on a bagel…and some coming alongside
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 
Your sister only needs what you are able to give
Love doesn't strut, 
Your sister needs a shoulder not someone who boasts about their own accomplishments.
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others
Again there is no need to hold yourself up as a role model when all she needs is a sympathetic ear. 
Isn't always "me first," 
A true practitioner of love will never try to put herself before her sister at a time of need.
Doesn't fly off the handle,
There will be no loss of patience no matter how unreasonable a needy sister is when she is going through a difficult time.
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 
There will be no reminders to your sister of past failures.
Doesn't revel when others grovel,


Obvious!

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
As your love manifests to your hurting sister you will be glad when she sees the truth about her situation and starts to improve.
Puts up with anything, 
In coming alongside there may be annoyances but a true sister is willing to put up with any inconvenience
Trusts God always, 
Who else can we really, truly trust?
Always looks for the best, 
This is totally needed so that love can triumph
Never looks back, 
But keeps going to the end.
Once the course is set it is forward to the end.

Sisterly love is the cheese cake of relationships. It is the thing that enhances the interaction of our relationships with everyone but especially with other women. As we come alongside we should be the ingredient in the troubled heat of a hot salsa dip that blends and dims the fire of a problem time to something that is tasty and easily handled.

Written by Corinne Mustafa

DNA

10/11/13

This picture captured my imagination and fancy when I first saw it. I read it several times with different emphases and in different order. Although I cannot put my mind to it to fully explain the wonder of it. Words like awesome, overwhelming, breathtaking, splendid, and astounding come to mind.

The problem is that I have no idea what particulars are than have us made in His image and likeness. Does God have a beard like my son: is he as handsome as my daughter is beautiful; is he good with math and accounting like my other son; is he athletic as my son in law and my grandson; is he able to imagine and draw illustrations  like my grandson; is he filled with the love of life like my granddaughter; is he courageous in the face of a chronic illness, like my daughter in law? Does He understand Einstein’s theory of electricity like my husband or does he love to write like I do. The answer is all of the above is yes…and especially the theory of relativity understanding which He created and let's not forget his talent for writing…after all he authored the book that has been a best seller for over a thousand years.

I am excited to realize that because God made us in His image and likeness it is a fact that He is in us. Wow! Always with our best friend as close to us as our heart or lungs and more important than those organs in the eternal sense. He has shared DNA for who we are and what we are able to be with us. On top of it all He loves us beyond what we can possibly deserve…expect for the thought of the image and likeness reality of our makeup.

Written  by
Corinne Mustafa

Mistakes…

Something Good Waiting to Happen

Mistakes can be very hard to deal with. A person who makes frequent mistakes starts to second guess himself and becomes judgmental of his frequent missteps. The result of such scrutiny is a growing lack of self-confidence. He feels as if he is unable to do much well. The problem is that what you think about you bring about. I would like to share selected interesting quotations about mistakes.

Albert Einstein has said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”  In the light of Einstein’s words, we find that when one steps out and takes a chance there are benefits even if they do not enjoy perfect success. There is a song that says that standing outside the fire may be safe, but in avoiding failure the person never gets the growth of learning something new. In effect, in some areas, he really has not lived fully.

Another quote that I like is from An Essay on Criticism, in which Alexander Pope wrote, “To err is human; to forgive is divine.” When we are willing to make a mistake and realize that doing so is part of the human condition, it puts us into the line where we receive God’s forgiveness and approval.

The problem of behavior built around mistake making is that people have difficulty in accepting that the blunder happened in the first place. We tend to deny the reality of the situation. In such a situation it is necessary to admit that we have made a mistake or the unlocking of the doors does not happen. We do not receive any new strategies nor do we end up having a beneficial paradigm shift.

Human error runs the gamut of poor choice to unacceptable behavior. We entertain ideas that are not really viable or behave poorly due to our mistaken values about God, miscalculations, opinions about friends, what to wear, what career path to follow, who to trust, how to make a schedule, where to go on vacation, or what car to buy. The list goes on and on.

There are good things that can happen due to a mistake made. Many inventions and life improvements have come about when a person working on a task makes a mistake. The mistake reveals something unknown, and life improves tremendously. There are many instances that can be spoken about. Here are a few.

Coca Cola came about due to the fact that a Pharmacist was required to redo his formula for a popular nerve tonic, stimulant, and headache remedy due to a prohibition law. Instead of adding wine he added sugar and the result was the syrup base for Coke and was later mixed with carbonated water.

Scotchguard was invented by a chemist working for 3M. She was trying to develop a rubber material that would not deteriorate from contact with airline fuels. She accidentally dropped some on her shoe. She later noticed that her shoes were dirty except for one area. Retracing her  steps, she remembered the spill on her shoe. That stain resistant compound became known as Scotchguard.

The Slinky toy was created when someone who was working on a spring coil for another use got a surprise. The spring rolled off his workbench, and, when it hit the floor, it kept rolling over and over itself. The popular toy had rolled its way into the toy boxes of most children in this country.

There are many inventions that resulted from mistakes made in research. These include fireworks, Goodyear rubber tires, improved methods of finger printing using Crazy Glue, and others too numerous to list. The important take away from all of these beneficial mistakes is that we should embrace them and learn from them. In practical terms the best way to generate new ideas is not by trying to hide from making mistakes. It is advisable that we expose ourselves to abundant conversations and considerations of rival ideas. Trying to discover ways to repurpose a formula or item discovered accidentally and taking it to a new level, is a basis providing utmost success in bringing the inventions we have used for years into current technology. Keep in mind that much of the advances in technology were discovered quite by a happy accident or mistake..

Do not fear stepping out and taking a chance. Give it to God and trust him. He will lead you towards the goal He has in mind for you.