Attempting to Live in Agreement

Attempting to Live in

Agreement...Coherence…Accord

Live in harmony with each other.

~ Romans 12:16a ~

I was looking for a scripture to post today, and I came across this one. As I read it I felt a sharp nudge of my own imagining. No one was there to poke me. I looked behind me wondering if poke had missed someone coming into the room. If it was a friend, it would explain the prod I had felt. The friend was probably trying to be funny and scare me a bit. I was surprised to see that I was alone in the room.

I looked up at my scripture. When I picked it, the reason was that it was such a simple and easily received sentiment and directive. Who does not want to live in harmony with the people in their lives. I recognize that I do want to, but do I always follow this instruction. 

Yes, in my heart I want to get along with everyone. I sensed some soul searching coming on.

I have a lot of friends that love me as I love them. I love them and live in agreement with them, and I believe that they love me. Even when we think differently about a topic we are able to discuss it in mature fashion. We often learn something we had not been aware of before our discussion. I always come away from such a conversation feeling blessed that we could share without rancor. This happens when we end up agreeing to disagree. It is not always that simple as discussions between people can get a bit upsetting. However, if in the end we can unwind a bit and go on with the talk we feel as if we have been successful.

As I have been sitting here writing I hear a soft knock on the door of my subconscious. What have I been missing? I reread what I wrote. It was an accurate account of my philosophy and the rules that God has made me aware of. So what was the problem? Did the scripture only refer to close friends? I suddenly realize that the reason that friends become close friends is because they share some…even a lot…of the same paradigms about life. What was I missing? Then it hit me that we have friends that are not our best friends. They are more like acquaintances who we do not know as well. We might even not be as aware of what they think about a given topic. It actually is easier to keep an even keel in discussions with these contacts.

I started to think of a recent occurrence in my life. It was a couple of weeks ago when my husband and I spent the weekend with two couples we know. One of the women and I had been very close in the past. She had encountered some issues and was not truthful with me about what had happened and about what had been going on at the time. I had always enging chosen to let her call the shots about what we would do. My thought was that the issues in her live were so challenging that it would not hurt me to just let her have her way. I gave that willing but after I found out that she had not been honest with me that all changed. She had moved about an hour away from where I live, so I did not see her often.

Fast forward to our weekend together. She started doing some of the things that I used to allow in days gone by. I don’t need to spell it out, but I decided that I would no longer be manipulated in the way I had willingly accepted before. So we ended up bickering all weekend. In the end the other woman was not in a good place from what she witnessed between us all weekend.  The end of the weekend was a very painful one, and I ended up the person who was blamed. I was not the only one, but I don’t think God cares who is right. He cares about our behavior. Did we follow His requirements? Did we have compassion for another? Were we acting in the way Jesus showed us?

On reconsideration of what happened to me that weekend, I don’t think that I needed to be a doormat. Still I could have been a bit more retiring about arguing that I did or did not want to do something. I could have been less vehement about my desires. I did not do this and the other woman was hurt by the bickering. In the end she turned on me in a way that I never would have expected. Nor do I think that the ball belonged only in my court either. I tried to apologize for my part to the other person, but she refused to talk to me or even listen. As for my former best friend she had a role that was big in the whole thing.

I spent a week in pain over the whole thing. I felt like I was under a cloud and very numb. In the end I decided that a relationship with her was toxic to me, and I should avoid spending time with her of long duration. I do know that I did have a roll in what was a disaster, and I have accepted my culpability in it. Based on 20/20 hindsight I realize that what happened was not worth taking a chance of by that I might loose sight of my goal of living in harmony. It was a hard and painful lesson from which I hope I have learned and do not forget.

Here is another quote from Romans 12. On the road to living in harmony with each other this scripture gives wonderful instruction for success.

 Therefore, 

I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy,
to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy
and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed
by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve 

what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.Romans 12:1-2

Written by

Corinne Mustafa