The Two Groups at Christmas

The Believers and the Secret Keepers

This is a writing to share what I did to handle the time when my oldest son, who was then eight years old, first came to me with a question in his eyes. He wanted to ask about Santa Claus.  “Mom is there any such person as Santa Claus?  He is not real is he, Mom?”  I had known this day would have to come soon, but I still was not ready for it when yet.  Well it had to come, didn't it? You cannot remain a child forever. When I found out it was at school.  Another child said in a mocking voice, “You still believe in Santa Claus? What a baby!” With this I acquired a knowledge that would change the secular part of our Christmas celebrations forever.  I remembered those many years ago when I had gone to my mother heartbroken about my own popped Santa-belief bubble. Now I was wondering how I could help Faruk understand he needed to keep this new knowledge to himself. To spread it around prematurely to a friend who believed would not be the right thing to do.

So, Faruk no longer believed.  Would he miss the innocence that believing in Santa Claus signifies?  What would happen if he told the “babies”?  Well, I know it would not have been the end of the world.  Still, I believed that hearing that they had been told something that was not true at such a tender age would be hard for little ones to grasp.  How could they deal with it when they were too young to understand the intentioned loveliness of a  legend which had been carried on by parents for generation after generation. The story of Santa Claus was told for the joy and enjoyment of children. It could be hard for a little one to understand that he or she had been fooled his own parents!  Such young and tender minds would not have the tools to appreciate why this had been done.

After momentary feelings of panic and helplessness, an idea came to me.  Even after all these years I am still amazed at the cleverness of that idea.  My idea shone as brightly as the Christmas star that day. In fact, I thought it was rather brilliant..  I sat my beautiful boy down and told him my story of the two groups into which people are divided at Christmas.

I don’t think it was me alone who chose what was right for me to say that day.  Rather, I believe that Jesus spoke to my heart, so that I could answer my child.  After all, Jesus loves the little children; He said they should be allowed to come to Him; and He told us adults that unless we become like little children we cannot enter heaven.  And, this was about how we celebrate the remembrance of His birthday.

Here is the story I told my son. “Faruk, at Christmas this world  is made up of two groups, the ‘BELIEVERS’ and the ‘SECRET KEEPERS’.”

This is how this practice got started a long time ago. There was a very holy man who lived in Holland who had a unique way of celebrating Jesus’ birthday.  His name was Saint Nicholas.  After dark he would go around his city and leave surprises in the shoes on all the doorsteps . The presents were like birthday presents for Jesus, whose life was God’s most special present to us. The difference was that we received the presents, not Jesus. Children and their parents would look outside in the morning to find the gifts and candies Nicholas had left.  After a long time Nicholas got very old and could no longer deliver his presents.  Parents had thought it was such a lovely way to welcome the day of Jesus’ birth.  So, they started to secretly leave presents outside their own doors for their children.  Soon parents all over Europe were doing the same thing.  When a lot of people start doing something, a custom is created.  In our country Saint Nicholas became known as Santa Claus, and the custom is carried out to this day.

Now there are two groups of people at Christmas time.

One group listens for Santa’s bells and sounds of reindeer hooves on the roof.  They leave out cookies and milk for Santa as a way of telling him “thank-you” for what he has done.  On Christmas morning they wake up before the sun peeps over the trees and wake up their parents.  Together the family goes to look under the tree to find what Santa has left there and to take down their stockings that have “been hung by the chimney with care“. 

I told Faruk, “This group is called the ‘BELIEVERS’!”

Then there is the other group.  Most of the people in this group are older.  They are the adults, the teenagers, and the older children.  By now my son’s eyes were like big dark brown saucers, and, looking into them, I could tell that he already understood.  Still, I continued.  I felt that this was the most important story, well, after the nativity story, that is, that I had ever told my child.  I went on, “Santa Claus is a legend, Faruk.  Believing in him makes mystery and excitement be a part of the presents we receive as birthday presents for Jesus.  Eventually, we all grow up and realize that Santa Claus is just a legend.  That is when we join the new group that is very important.  When we join this group we are getting closer to being adults.” 

I told him, “This group is called the ‘SECRET KEEPERS’!”

I went on to share with him how important his membership in “The Secret Keepers” group is.  He now shared the responsibility that this group had of carrying on the legend of Santa Claus.  He was now expected to keep the secret for Martin and Aleisha and the kids he knew who still believed.  That was the rule for members of the “Secret Keeper” group. I told him that one day he would be keeping the secret for his own children.

Faruk was a great “Secret Keeper”.  Martin and Aleisha had the years of believing that they should.  When Martin was ready to cross over Faruk and I told him the story together.  He was a great “Secret Keeper”, too.  Aleisha eventually heard the story, but she was our family’s baby, and so she kept the secret for her own little friends that still believed.

Telling that story to my own children seems so long ago. Telling this to our family’s next generation seemed forever in the future when I told them.  My, how fast time does fly!  Faruk  is now the father of two children who already belong to the ‘secret keeper’ group. Martin does not have any children yet. Aleisha is the mother of a seven year old who is still a member of the ‘believer’ group. Custom and tradition is passed onto the future.

Written by

Corinne Mustafa  
December, 2004

 Revised, 12/13