HONESTY

Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

John 17:17

A first glance at this photograph might cause a reader to ask one question, “Why?” These words seem to be so obvious that the very writing of then seems superfluous. Still there they are in bold black on the side of this ramshackle building. Someone went to a lot of trouble. It was not an easy thing to do. The old shack seems to be out in the middle of nowhere. The would-be “billboard” maker would have had to drive to the spot with his paint can and brush. He would have had to bring along a ladder so that he could paint up high beyond his reach.

Why would he paint such an obvious instruction? The answer to this question is that it is often a really obscure understanding or behavior. The fact is that people do not always speak the truth. Why not? They may be afraid to be found out; they may be afraid to be wrong; they may be afraid to hurt feelings, or they may be afraid to lose a friend. All these are real fears that are grounded in factual reality of how people perceive and act. One motivating factor is that they don’t want to be caught in something they should not have done. Another motive that stimulates a person to keep the truth to herself (which results in an untruth in the end) is a fear of not being able to tell a person what you see in a positive way.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

John 8:23

Have you ever heard of the phrase, “Speak the truth in love”? This is the approach to take that will be helpful to the person you feel moved to talk to. A true friend cares for an acquaintance. It is possible to find ways to share a difficult word that will show empathy and not be worded unkindly. A suffering friend who seems unaware of a destructive belief or behavior needs a loving voice of reason to speak into her life. She may not like it at the onset, but she will receive food for thought that in the end will be helpful. To ignore behavior or issues is like having an elephant in the middle of the room that everyone knows is there but do not talk about. Rather they step around it while it grows and fills the room.


I am adding something Beverley Napier posted in Facebook this morning (8/4) on this very topic...
~When a friendship requires confrontation and speaking the truth in love, many of us would rather let the friendship go rather than to persevere and find out what lesson there is to be learned through these diffucult times. Although the truth can be hard to speak and even harder to hear, IT TRULY IS A GIFT that each of us deserve.~

Hopefully, when you attempt to do this, it will be received with appreciation. Hopefully your friend will see how much you care about her that you are willing to risk telling her what you are observing and thinking. Hopefully! Be ready for rejection and know that it is a cost of being a true friend. If you are brave and caring enough to do this, in the end there will be a good result. If the result you have hoped for does not happen you can still know that you have done the right thing…that you have loved your friend. However it is to be hoped that your friend will be a “Queen” of the type spoken of in Proverbs.

Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.

Proverbs 16:13

The other side of this coin is to be truthful in all you do. When I was young my mother told me about “white lies.” She said that they were acceptable. I am not so sure about that anymore either. I have already written about the need for telling the truth in love. What about the idea that something about yourself is not the business of someone else, or that you need to dress it up to make yourself look better. This is also something to be watched and overcome. I have a friend that I know I can trust at all times. She is of great value to me, someone I can rely on. I prize her beyond others because it is comfortable knowing that I do not have to worry about untruths about her life, her thinking, or about her talk to me when I need centering. She is a treasure.

An honest answer is like a warm hug.

Proverbs 24:26

“So speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.”

Give someone a hug…become someone’s treasure!

© Corinne H. Mustafa

August 2, 2010